I feel like an abandoned house on the side of the highway that people pass by but pay no mind to.  

People tell me that they’re in my life and that they care, and yet I’m alone, completely fucking alone, and no one cares.

I care so much about all of these stupid fucking people, and I’m just not good enough for them.  No one wants me in their lives.

And I’m a complete worthless fuck up, so I can’t even really blame them.  I’m not nice, pretty, smart, talented, ambitious, or hard working.  I’m just a sad little child in the body of an adult.

I don’t sleep at night anymore.

I just feel like I’m as close to the bottom I can go before hitting it.   I’m as sick as I can be without being devastatingly sick.  I’m failing out of college but I haven’t been kicked out yet.  You know, I’m not homeless, or deathly ill, or poor.  But everything else that could be possibly wrong in my life is wrong.

What if I don’t get my act together and I flunk out of school?  What the fuck will I do with myself? 

I’m just too sad to function all the time.  I know I can’t expect anyone there holding my hand through life, but I have no one I can even talk to.  I even feel like I lost my therapist.  Like how the fuck can you lose a therapist?  How the fuck does that even happen, it’s their job to listen to you talk.

i swear to god, it is impossible for me to sleep

my heart is racing, god i hate this feeling.